“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you” – Maya Angelou
October the 9th till the 15th is Baby loss Awareness week. I have titled this ‘sharing is caring’ because it is important for those who have lost to be able to talk about it and it is important for you to listen.
In between my son and my daughter I had a missed miscarriage. It was early days and a long time ago but you never forget and in all honesty why should you forget? Certain things stick out in my memory from those terrible days. Apart from the pain both physical and mental pain.
A few leaflets got handed over after the initial appointment and that’s it, after that terrible appointment off you go. I was advised by a couple of people not to say anything. It was absolutely not the advise I would accept. I had nothing to be ashamed of, had done nothing wrong. I spoke up, in fact I shouted out about it. The next thing that shocked me was the amount of women that told me they had lost babies too. It seemed every other women I spoke to had suffered but had never said, even close friends. I don’t understand why it’s felt you can’t or shouldn’t talk about it. Everyone is different and of course it is your choice but all I can advise is that talking is what got me through the hardest time in my life.
It maybe difficult to know what to say to someone that has lost a baby. All I would advise is that you don’t actually have to say anything. Hug them and squeeze them. Sometimes we don’t need to come up with the words, sometimes a hug is so much better and speaks a thousand words.
If you are currently struggling or know someone that is you can get help. I’m lucky, my doctor was amazing and a great support. Count the kicks has loads of information. The babyloss awareness and sands website’s both have lots of advise and do an amazing job of supporting families.
I am writing and sharing this to support #babylossawareness let’s break the silence together, sharing is caring.